Sometimes I find myself in an endless stream of thoughts – coming and going, no beginning nor end. Usually, by the end of the day, the flux fades, consumed by my eagerness to analyse every detail.
I get so bored… I am so quick at thinking things through, that sometimes I cannot do them at all, as they lose their novelty from having been done in my head.
There are two variables for when I am facing the possibility of a new challenge: either I become absorbed and passionate about the new opportunity that arises, or I become absorbed and ruminate on all the ways I could fail.
Why do I trust myself so much? And why do I doubt myself equally?
For a long time, I have based my values on others. I told myself “if it is good enough for you, it is good enough for me“.
Then, when it stopped being good enough, I stopped being good enough. This made me wonder how am I supposed to establish my value.
Is it based on the things I could do, or done already?
Is it based on the things I know, or the capacity of learning new things?
How can I solve this matrix, so I can finally see myself?
In times of need, though, I get flashbacks of some little successes, and I feel so strong that I say to myself:
If it is good enough for me, it is good enough for you“.